Alotta Hats Podcast

Episode 203 I Spiritual Abuse Pt. 2 I Church or Cult?

June 02, 2021 Christina Faith and A Brillant Dummy Season 2 Episode 203
Episode 203 I Spiritual Abuse Pt. 2 I Church or Cult?
Alotta Hats Podcast
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Alotta Hats Podcast
Episode 203 I Spiritual Abuse Pt. 2 I Church or Cult?
Jun 02, 2021 Season 2 Episode 203
Christina Faith and A Brillant Dummy

Church or Cult Pt 2: Cults  

This episode will dive into the complexities and deep effects of cults/cult-like environment.


TALKING POINTS


What is a cult?

  • Definitions:
    • Cult (Culture)- “a misplaced or excessive admiration for a particular person or thing”- websters
  • A few signs:
    • Leader(s) are the ultimate authority. Have no accountability or “Yes-men”
    • Others are shamed or discredited in some way for leaving the group or challenging beliefs/practices
    • Shame Cycles: Need this group to feel loved, worthy or significant.


Narcissistic leadership in “Church”

  • The narcissist and the needy (perfect relationship match)
    • Ex: Hillsong/Ravi situations (Can maybe mention these situations)
  • Signs
    • Very Charismatic/charming personalities
    • Love-bombing/flattery
    • Manipulative
    • Gaslighting
    • Controlling


Healing

  • The aftermath/disconnecting
    • Examine fruit
      • Does leadership actions match their words?
      • Learning the difference between imperfection vs deep character flaws
    • Shame and Doubt 
      • Give yourself space to question your beliefs and see what remains true (this can be very scary/lonely, but worth the journey)
      • Finding faults in yourself not perpetrators
    • Vulnerability (jump from cult to cult)
    • Reconnecting with God & Others (scared to trust Christians/churches)
  • Ways to heal 
    • Therapy
    • Safe Community (Marks of a healthy church community)
      • Find someone that can validate your pain and help you grieve. Talk about it!
    • Rest (Maybe take time off from local church/serving until you feel comfortable)

Recommendation Book/Links

Combating Cult Mind Control by Steven Hassan: 

Audiobook: https://www.audible.com/pd/Combating-Cult-Mind-Control-Audiobook/B07GZVGN9F?source_code=GO1DH13310082090P1&ds_rl=1262685&ds_rl=1263561&ds_rl=1260658&gclid=CjwKCAjwjuqDBhAGEiwAdX2cj57D_1DJe48WXjEtnR6UEoF3QHe-PxI9NO_9H7wlSYL8hMl1Hx8h7hoChDkQAvD_BwE&gclsrc=aw.ds


Safe People by Dr. Henry Cloud & Dr John Townsend

Book: https://www.amazon.com/Safe-People-Relationships-Avoid-Those/dp/0310345790



Show Notes

Church or Cult Pt 2: Cults  

This episode will dive into the complexities and deep effects of cults/cult-like environment.


TALKING POINTS


What is a cult?

  • Definitions:
    • Cult (Culture)- “a misplaced or excessive admiration for a particular person or thing”- websters
  • A few signs:
    • Leader(s) are the ultimate authority. Have no accountability or “Yes-men”
    • Others are shamed or discredited in some way for leaving the group or challenging beliefs/practices
    • Shame Cycles: Need this group to feel loved, worthy or significant.


Narcissistic leadership in “Church”

  • The narcissist and the needy (perfect relationship match)
    • Ex: Hillsong/Ravi situations (Can maybe mention these situations)
  • Signs
    • Very Charismatic/charming personalities
    • Love-bombing/flattery
    • Manipulative
    • Gaslighting
    • Controlling


Healing

  • The aftermath/disconnecting
    • Examine fruit
      • Does leadership actions match their words?
      • Learning the difference between imperfection vs deep character flaws
    • Shame and Doubt 
      • Give yourself space to question your beliefs and see what remains true (this can be very scary/lonely, but worth the journey)
      • Finding faults in yourself not perpetrators
    • Vulnerability (jump from cult to cult)
    • Reconnecting with God & Others (scared to trust Christians/churches)
  • Ways to heal 
    • Therapy
    • Safe Community (Marks of a healthy church community)
      • Find someone that can validate your pain and help you grieve. Talk about it!
    • Rest (Maybe take time off from local church/serving until you feel comfortable)

Recommendation Book/Links

Combating Cult Mind Control by Steven Hassan: 

Audiobook: https://www.audible.com/pd/Combating-Cult-Mind-Control-Audiobook/B07GZVGN9F?source_code=GO1DH13310082090P1&ds_rl=1262685&ds_rl=1263561&ds_rl=1260658&gclid=CjwKCAjwjuqDBhAGEiwAdX2cj57D_1DJe48WXjEtnR6UEoF3QHe-PxI9NO_9H7wlSYL8hMl1Hx8h7hoChDkQAvD_BwE&gclsrc=aw.ds


Safe People by Dr. Henry Cloud & Dr John Townsend

Book: https://www.amazon.com/Safe-People-Relationships-Avoid-Those/dp/0310345790